Finding a Family

by Michael McWhorter

"When in the course of human events..."  Human events?  Our founding fathers probably did not have in mind the events that have taken place in this human's life.  To begin with, I was not diagnosed with a mental illness until I was 40 years old.  But that does not mean that I didn't suffer from it for many years before that.  Most of my early adult life was a series of failures and disappointments.  Nothing, and I do mean nothing, ever lasted for more than a few months.  Jobs, relationships, dreams...It got to a point where I was just living life because I hadn't died yet.  I was never suicidal, but I never could find any viable reason to live.

One day when I was at my lowest, I went to a friend of mine, hoping for at least a little distraction from my own life.  She started talking to me about her experiences and how she had spent some time in a mental hospital.  My first reaction was, "I'm not a crazy person.  I do not need that sort of thing."  But the more she talked, the more I began to think that maybe I needed that sort of help.  So I allowed her to take me to the hospital, where they evaluated me and sent me on to a mental hospital.  I only stayed there a short time, and I have not been back since, but I learned more about myself than I ever knew there was to know.

After I left the hospital, I was told about a place called Park Center, where I could go and get help to stay on the right track toward recovery.  Between the medicine, the therapy, and the wonderful "family" I found at Park Center, I have been able to deal with the demons in my life, and if not make them go away, at least make them quit bothering me.  I now have a job.  I am living up to my responsibilities.  I am working on moving into my own apartment very soon.  I am leading a happy, productive life really for the first time, and it feels wonderful.  I believe that without the encouragement and, yes, I'll say it...love, that I felt from the members and staff at Park Center, I could not have come as far as I have.

UPDATE - Michael reports the following at the end of 2009:  Well, its been a great number of years since I have even had the inclination to say this, but this has truly been the best year of my life.  There may have been singular events that rank higher, but as a whole 2009 was the best ever.  I started this year pretty much the same as the last few had been, but it did not take long for the blessings to start rolling in.  It all started when I finally got so down and so lonely that, for the first REAL time in my life, I gave up and let God have His way.  Some of the highlights of this year include reconnecting with old friends through Facebook and other Internet sites.  It was a little wierd to here some of my old high school friends talking about their grandkids, but I guess we are all getting older.  I was also blessed to be able to recommit myself to important friendships and relationships as well as to cultivate many new friendships.  For the first time in a long time I have a job that I absolutely love, and I see no reason for me not to stay with this job and retire from here some day.  I feel blessed to call Nashville, Tennessee my home, although I love Texas and I am so thankful to have spent my youth there, Nashville is where I feel like my life really matters.  I have moved into my own apartment, with all the freedoms that brings.  I was truly blessed in October to be able to go back to Texas and help my parents celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary.  All of these things I am truly thankful for, but most important, I have re-discovered the spirit of giving.  I have volunteered at several places and been able to help people in many varied ways.  I truly believe that with God's help I have actually made a difference and that's all I ever really wanted.  I don't know exactly what 2010 has to offer for me, but I know it will be wonderful.  I DO know what my wish is for you.  In every aspect of your life; financial, emotional, romantic, and whatever else you may do, I hope you have all that you need, much of what you want, and plenty left over to give to others.  Life is funny, but you are never truly as rich as you are when you give things to others.  I may never have more than a few hundred dollars dollars in my bank account.  I may never drive a new car or even own a home, but thanks to the Grace and Power of Our Lord Jesus Christ and the Love and support of all of my friends and family, I know I will always be rich beyond my wildest dreams.  Thank you for all that you have done and all that you are.  May God truly bless you and yours throughout this new year and the rest of your life.